Weekly Dose of Coach #145: The Magic Words

The Magic Words

Maybe it's me, but the older I get it seems like I hear more and more excuses of why people aren't in a situation or place they think they should be.  Maybe it's because my profession is full of those who can find every excuse why they didn't make the team, or why they can't lose weight or why they can't show up on time for work.

Today I turn 40.  And as I reflect on the last four decades of my life I can remember plenty of times where I made excuses, felt sorry for myself, thought I was owed more than I was getting, thought I should be farther along than I was.  Because when you hit an age like 40 you start to ask yourself, "Am I where I wanted to be?"

The answer for me is generally, "No." This is because the goals and standards I set for myself are pretty high. However, what I do know is I am exactly where I am today because of the accumulation of the choices I've made. Yes, I've been through some crappy stuff like divorce, business failures, the housing market crash, but so have millions of other people. These aren't excuses, they're learning opportunities.

My life and career has given me the opportunity to become close with, study and observe some very successful people in business, sports and life in general.  I've found a common denominator in all of them. It's not their talent, their work ethic, their training or the circumstances. Rather, it's one thing that all of us can easily do.  Your life can completely change when you accept this and say these three magic words:

"I am responsible."

Author Brian Tracy in his book, "Get Smart: How to Think and Act Like the Most Successful and Highest-Paid People in Every Field," wrote "It's impossible for you to blame someone or something else for a negative emotion and accept responsibility for the situation at the same time."

He goes on to explain that this "positive, present tense affirmation eliminates negative emotions of all kinds, instantly."  And that because your mind can only hold on to one thought at a time, positive or negative, "you can cancel any negative thought at any time by simply repeating to yourself over and over again, "I am responsible.'"

There's an interesting thing that happens when people start to get this responsibility thing. They start to make more money, they start to lose weight, their relationships with their family improve, their skills improve, they start making the teams that no one gave them a chance to make before.

Why? Because accepting responsibility is your first step to true commitment.  It makes things clear. It opens your eyes to the path you need to stay on.  Because you are accepting responsibility, you attack with a positive mindset and the energy you have behind it has a purpose.

Next time you are felling sorry for yourself or you have negative emotions creeping in about where you're at in your life, try saying the words, "I am responsible" and watch how you attitude changes. Say this enough and a crazy thing will happen, your life will change. 


Go Get It,

Coach Jeff Higuera